last month

In the past month, I.....

celebrated Christmas with family, a welcome difference from last year, which I spent alone due to work constraints.

Marked the passing of my great-aunt Pearl, an extraordinary woman, at the age of 101.

Rang in the new year with an old friend and a roomful of new ones.

Wished someone who'd hurt me best of luck with everything, and meant it.

Got a new job! Full-time, benefits, regular hours and it's not retail.

Life's a struggle, but the hard times always subside. It's just hard to remember when you're in it. And if I live be 101, I should try to relax and stop stressin'.

thoughts

I want to write, but what about?

A list of random thoughts, alrighty!

-Work has been crazy-busy, but it occupies the mind.
-When you're left to sit still for too long, my mind goes to bad places.
-This includes, lately, every night when I turn off my light to sleep. The thoughts come too fast. Always the same one. Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late at night. You are your own worst enemy, you'll never win the fight.
-Shocker, hormone levels effect your mood. Break. Ing. news. Turns out there was a reason, other than a flaw in my personality, that I was in tears last week.
-Living alone can get lonely. (Sure, I have a roommate, but she's just a roommate, and we're passing ships in the night. I miss living with my friend.)
-A phone call from a friend can relaly brighten the day.
-ONE nice customer can totally change your mood.
-So can a bad one.
-So can stepping away and taking a breather.
-I will always appreciate a new and undiscovered source of good writing.
-Francis and the Machine - Shake it Off. Listen to on repeat.
-Life is crazy.
-Life is boring.
-Life is repetitive.
-It can change in an instant.
-But change can be gradual, or dramatic.
-Fear is the thing that holds us back. Fear is the strongest thing we will ever build, and its strength relies entirely on our own self-delusion.
-Inactivity is a manfiestation of laziness, complacency, and perhaps fear.
-Christmas music should really not start until after Thanksgiving. November is for turkey, December is for Santa.
-Ditto on the Christmas decorations. Why should Christmas get two whole months of celebration? Makes me dread the holiday.
-Editors can be the nitpickiest creatures.
-Duh, that's what they're paid for.
-Freelancing is hard when you have a full-time job.
-I'm grateful for my job, but I sure wish it paid more. Like, double.
-Still: thankful.
-Alright, that's enough.

hopefully-not-a-fluke

Sunday is when the crazies come out, my co-worker says. And usually, I agree. But I didn't have to close today, it was busy enough that I was never bored but not so busy I was overwhelmed. Not a single customer annoyed me.

What the hell? Maybe I was well-rested from my count-them, one TWO DAY BREAK, oh-my-God, the feast of relaxation and free time!!!

I even opened two, no, three, credit cards for customers (a total fluke) and was awarded a cheap plastic bag with the company emblem on it with a matching water bottle, neither of which I will ever, ever use, but still - a tiny spot of accomplishment.

Callooh, callay*, October is in the air. You can smell the cold, the scent of burning wood. Drive to the lake and stare at the bruised blue-gray sky after the sun has set. Feel the autumn sink into your skin, for soon the leaves will change.

Merry October! Weather, you may now turn cold, for October is the month for autumn. Anything before then is just a sad death of summer.

This week: Get laptop BACK, dammit. Call sources for two freelance stories. Attend and write story on school board meeting. Let this good mood stick.


*Attachments, by Rainbow Powell. Read it.