Sunday, November 20, 2011


I am alone. Impatiently alone. I want someone, some partner, whom I love and who loves me, and I want him now. Impatient like tonight at work, at 5:30, when I'm off at 7 and just wanted to go home, right then. Because all the bullshit I had to slog through to get to 7 (which turned out to be 7:50, because oh, 7 means closing, don't you know?) was just that - bullshit. Fold the clothes, hang the clothes, tweak the fucking clothes. Make sure everything's perfect, and then you're released.

I want him, my future boyfriend, my future love NOW (does he exist? Are my hopes implausible? Do I sound like an oh-so-dreamy Twilight-loving tween? God I hope not).

The thing is this: I want someone who makes me laugh, whom I make laugh. A good kisser. We love being near each-other. I'm happy to see him. He's happy to see me. We walk down the street and he takes my hand. He'll kiss me, out of nowhere, just because.

All the sweet, romantic shit. Hell yeah, I want that. I want someone who I adore, who adores me. Will I find that? Will I? Does that exist? Someone whole, and unattached, and lovely? Will I find that - and equally important, will someone find me and think all these same things?

Tonight, I sleep alone. I wish I had someone next to me. A warm body to reach for. A comforting face. That would be nice.

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